129. Tips For Surviving When Your Partner Is Out Of Town

129. Tips For Surviving When Your Partner Is Out Of Town

As many of you know, my husband travels for work and is gone a lot.  He works out of town approximately 40% of the time.  His office is also in Orem, so when he is working in the office, he’s gone before we wake up until after we go to bed.  Because my husband is out of town a lot, that means there’s also a lot of solo parenting going on at our house.  I have learned a lot about solo parenting the last 5 years, and you guys have been asking for my tips! 

As a disclaimer, I know that solo parenting and single parenting is very different.  I have a lot of support and I do not want to take away from any single parents.  I am not comparing solo parenting to single parenting – it’s very different.  There’s a lot going on with being a solo parent off and on, but it doesn’t compare to single parenting.  

 

There are a lot of days in our month where it’s just me.  It can be very difficult for a mom running a business, like myself, for many reasons.  There are so many layers of solo parenting!  When I first got married, I would never believe that Kylee of 30 would be managing a home and solo parenting as much as I am.  There’s absolutely no way I would have signed up for this.  I was not very independent.  Once, my husband went to his friend’s wedding and was gone overnight.  I literally moved in with my aunt for the night.  I couldn’t be alone for the night! One other time, when I had 2 kids, he went out of town overnight for a funereal and I had to have someone come stay with me.  I was not really keen on being alone.  I’m still the kind of person that turns off the light in the kitchen then runs up the stairs.  

 

In the beginning of my husband traveling for work, it was hard.  I felt scared a lot of the time at night, I got hardly any sleep, and I was overwhelmed.  BUT, I have learned a lot over the last 5 years.  For the most part, it’s very smooth now.  Disclaimer: If my kids get the stomach flu, all bets are off… it’s not smooth. ☺ 

 

MY TOP SURVIVAL TIPS:

1-Start and end your day with routine

When I wake up in the morning, I go through and do a pick-up of everyone’s rooms while we are getting ready for school. I unload the dishwasher, rotate laundry, clean off the counters, etc.  I also end my day by putting my house to bed.  I go to bed and wake up with a clean house.  This is important because you are the only person doing this now.  My husband and I share most all our household tasks, and before he was traveling, we worked together.  Now, it’s just me.  If things around the house are piling up, I get super overwhelmed… probably just like you would! 

2-Give yourself grace

Even though somebody may have it “harder”, it’s still hard.  Even if your partner is gone 1 day a year, that’s still hard to get through. You have a lot to do! 

3-Selfcare is important

Ask yourself: what are the things that you need to do to be your best self? That could be working out, meditation, nightly baths, lunch with friends, etc.  You still need to do those things when your partner is out of town.  It’s probably even more important when they are away! Even if that means waking up earlier, trading with friends, turning on a movie for your kids, or starting bedtime earlier! Don’t skip your selfcare! 

4-Plan your calendar ahead of time

For me, I look at my calendar and arrange my schedule meticulously for when my husband is out of town.  That means babysitters, carpools, etc.  Do this before your partner leaves, that way it’s not overwhelming to figure out in the moment.  I also try to put less on the weeks my husband is gone.  My availability is even more limited in my time blocks when I am solo parenting.  

5-Do fun things to make the time pass

We actually do more fun things when my husband is gone compared to when he is home! We swim more, we go camping, we go skiing, we hike, etc.  We do things because it helps the time pass faster.  If we wait around at home for him to be able to join us, it’s so much worse.  I’ve done this before, and I promise it’s easier when we plan things! You can do it by yourself! 

6-Clear communication

It is important to have clear communication with your partner about your needs.  It’s a huge load you are taking on.  I know that most of the time, my husband isn’t out partying and having fun on his trips.  He is overstimulated, working, and hustling just as much.  He comes home burnt out, but I also expect a recovery day.  No matter what that looks like for you, it’s important.  Some women need binge watching tv shows in bed all day, and some women need to go out with their friends.  Determine what you need, and ask for it.  

If you have any other tips, questions, or comments – please ask and share! It was so fun to talk about my own family today.  It’s fun to reflect on what I do to help my own business and family run smoothly, and I hope you learned some tips!  We can all do it! 

 

129. Tips For Surviving When Your Partner Is Out Of Town