Episode #98: Your Enough is Enough
A couple of weeks ago I was asked to speak at one of my church events about self worth and helping women feel like their best is enough.
I loved the opportunity and was so excited because that’s my passion! I want every woman to feel like they’re doing what they’re being called to do and to not worry what other people are doing. I want women to feel empowered in who they are.
I came across the analogy of riding a bike when I was preparing to speak.
Riding a bike up a hill is HARD. And when you’re riding up a hill, you feel a little silly because you’re going so slow and barely moving.
You might feel like people are passing you and thinking you’re going so slow and making no progress. But that really isn’t the case. You don’t have people booing you and shaming you for going slow and going at your own pace.
Everyone whose passing you is actually encouraging you and cheering you on for doing something hard.
It’s the same thing in life.
Getting kids out of the house for school, doing your best to take care of your body, staying on top of the house work, or managing personal life problems may be your equivalent of riding a bike up a hill.
And just like when you’re working your way up that hill, you think neighbors and family are booing you and shaming you for taking things one at a time or for not being a super mom in every aspect of your life.
And not just that, you probably compare what other women are doing and how they seem to be having an easy time going up that figurative hill of life, being all super mom, and you’re over here struggling just to get the laundry done.
It’s general knowledge that you need to switch to lower gears when you’re riding your bike up a hill and you need to switch to higher gears when you’re on flat ground.
Women just have a tendency to raise their gears when they’re going uphill rather than switching to lower gears.
You probably pile things on when life gets hard and expect so much of yourself. You expect perfection and to be able to do everything. But really you just need to lower that gear. If you have a lot going on, you need to set boundaries, say no to things and be okay with the laundry piling up.
Remember that your life isn’t going to look like somebody who’s riding on flat ground, when you’re over here going uphill on gear eight.
Back to that tendency women have to compare themselves to others and think they’re failures because every other mom around them seems to be doing it all.
I can look at the mom next door who gets up every morning at exercises at 6:00 a.m. before their kids get up…or look at that lady who goes to my church and is at all the PTA meetings, planning Met Gala style birthday parties for their kids…and think I’m a failure.
I could diminish their gifts of party planning and consistency with taking care of themselves, and be really upset that I don’t have their gifts.
But what other people are doing have nothing to do with us.
Gifts are handpicked for us. We spend more time coveting our neighbors gifts than using our own.
Know what your strengths, talents and gifts are and use them. When you see someone else’s success, cheer them on for using their strengths. You can both be amazing without having to compare each other.Do what you can with what you got and where you are. Let go of the comparison. Don’t try to be on gear eight when you’re going uphill.
It’s okay to be in survival and let go of expectations, your life is not ever going to look like somebody else’s life. As long as you can hone in on your own strengths talents and gifts, it won’t matter anymore. Your enough is enough.