I was looking back at this past decade of my life and I was struck at how different I was a decade ago.
I was first married, a new mom and had SO MANY limiting beliefs. At the time I didn’t realize it, but gosh I was just a people pleaser and doing what everyone wanted me to do.
I was stuck in the way I was raised and didn’t really have my own opinions. I always thought of myself as a leader but at the same time, I was just a follower! I just let other people’s opinions guide me.I also let things I said to myself, or things other people said to me, develop beliefs about who I was as a person.
For example, dogs. The younger me did not like dogs. So I told myself, I am not a dog person and never will be.
Exercising — As a family, we weren’t athletic and I’m pretty sure all of my siblings got exempted from PE in high school. We didn’t do sportsy things as a family and I didn’t really like to do those things either, so I grew up telling myself I’m not athletic. I’m a pansy. I’m not strong. I have carried those beliefs all through my life, cringing at exercising and doing the least to be active.
Public speaking. I just don’t like it. I am completely turned off by it and being in front of people. That public speaking class you have to take in college, yeah avoided that. I worked with my advisor to get around it. All because I told myself that I was not good at public speaking but I never even gave it a chance!
I had all kinds of other limiting things I would tell myself, like I can’t ever hire people because I like my control, I’m a church gym wedding photographer and not a high-end wedding photographer. I can’t be alone with my kids, my husband has to be with me.
All of these little beliefs were big blocks in who I actually could be.
All throughout my 20s, I carried these really strong beliefs with me. But within the past few years, I’ve realized that my thoughts and beliefs can change.
I did the work to reframe my fixed, limited mindset and I figured out that I love dogs, so much that I even have two of them.
I am strong when I push myself. I can learn how to ski. I can hire people. I can trust people with my business. I can speak in public and I’m good at it. I can travel and do all the things with my three kids and without my husband.
Your thoughts can change.
If you find yourself in that fixed mindset, telling yourself things like “Oh I’m just this way, it will never change,” or “I’m always going to be this way,” it’s NOT TRUE.
You don’t have to always be a bad cook or always hate going to the gym or always have a bad relationship with money or always be late to things.
Just because you were raised one way or have had people tell you the same thing about yourself, doesn’t mean it has to stay that way forever.
This week I want you to:
- Write out the limiting things you’ve been telling yourself for the last couple of years. The ones that are holding you back. That really aren’t true.
- Flip the narrative and reframe those limiting beliefs. Next to those limiting beliefs, write things like: I love to run, I am a good cook, I can run a mile everyday, I am on time to things.
- Take those affirmations and pin them on your mirror or set them as your phone’s screensaver, and read them everyday so you can start changing those beliefs.
- Act on them too. Just start little and work your way up. Run for five minutes a day, set a timer to help you keep track of time, find simple recipes to cook.
Bonus points: find a coach, expert or some sort of education that can push you towards that growth mindset. If you want to be better at exercising, find a trainer or Instagram page or YouTube videos about easy workouts.
It’s going to be a slow grow, it’s not going to switch overnight.
You have decades of limiting beliefs wired into your mind and those are really hard to change. It takes a conscious effort to change the stories you’ve been telling yourself for years.
But your mindset is not fixed. It doesn’t have to stay the same forever. If you want to grow and let go of your limiting beliefs, you can expand your thoughts and expand what you’re capable of. You can do whatever you want to do!