139. Boundaries in Business

139. Boundaries in Business #CEOMOMCLUB

In today’s episode, we’ll be discussing an important topic that many women who are also business owners can relate to – setting boundaries.

As a mom and a business owner, finding the balance between personal and professional life can be quite challenging. It’s not easy juggling the responsibilities of motherhood while also running a successful business. That’s why setting boundaries becomes crucial.

Remember, setting boundaries is not selfish; it’s essential for your well-being and success.

When we set boundaries for ourselves, we are saying yes to what truly matters and protecting ourselves from unnecessary stress and overwhelm.

Setting boundaries allows you to prioritize your time and energy effectively.

 

Lets start with a few facts about Boundaries:

• You decide what your boundaries are
• You don’t have to tell people what they are
• When your boundaries are crossed its YOUR job to take action, not someone else’s (Ideas: Remove yourself, Respond, Don’t Reply, Mute, Block, Change YOUR situation)
• Boundaries are not about control, they’re about protection!

“Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” – Prentis Hemphill

 

 

Setting Boundaries Can Be Tricky

I don’t set boundaries very naturally because I am an enneagram 9, recovering people pleaser and empath. Plus, I was not raised to set boundaries. And that is nothing against my parents. They weren’t taught either. Our generation is paving the way and we’re all learning together.

I had a limiting belief that when I set boundaries, people react bad. (Mostly because that did happen.)

Here was my proof.

• Told a client I wasn’t comfortable signing their contract —> She left me a 1 star review on google that said I do not support women in business
• Told a client we weren’t a good fit —> She said I was bad at taking feedback and she needed me to
• Set a solid boundary —> She said I will never associate you with kindness again

Instead of going back on my boundaries because of my fear of disappointing people or making people feel like I’m not who I say I am. I started proving to myself I was not the lies people say when they are hurting or unhealthy.

I had to learn that someone else’s reaction is not my responsibility. My responsibility is to protect my business, my family, my mental health and my peace.

“Toxic people make you think you’re holding a grudge, when you’re really holding a boundary” – Mel Robbins

 

Feeling Gaslit When Setting Boundaries? Look for Evidence

When I set a boundary and someone reacts, instead of A. Reacting back or B. Retracting, I start a note on my phone just for me with evidence.

Evidence of why I need the boundary

• What things in the contract made me uncomfortable
• The receipts

 

Plus the Evidence of

• How do I support women in business?
• How am I kind?

Sometimes when you set a boundary, you become the villain. And it can be a lot of an empath. A woman. A people pleaser. An enneagram 9. A person that generally loves people. And hates drama.

But at the end of the day, we only are responsible for ourselves. Our reactions, emotions, boundaries.

Now in addition to working with people that react badly to boundaries, you may work with someone that doesn’t understand boundaries.

Remember:

• Boundaries are not meant to control or punish another
• When your boundaries are crossed its YOUR job to take action, not someone else’s

 

 

Working with Someone that Doesn’t understand Boundaries:

I had an opportunity this last year to work with someone that had some pretty set boundaries BUT they wanted ME to change what I was doing to make that work.

They had certain expectations on how things should go. Let’s give a hypothetical example. Let’s say I’m working with a photography client for my commercial photography business. They live an hour away but their boundary is: They don’t want to drive for a photoshoot. They don’t want creamy edit. They don’t want natural light.

Those may seem like silly examples but I honestly worked with a person this last year that had very specific boundaries that worked for them that they wanted me to bend to.

That’s not how boundaries work. Just because they decide thats what they want, doesn’t mean I have to drive an hour away, shoot with a studio set up and change my edit. The options are: 1. I don’t travel. This is my edit. And I use my natural light studio. 2. Find someone else.

Thats when you have to learn they’re not a good fit and in order for them to uphold your boundaries, and you to upload yours, you part ways. That is okay.

For years and years, I would let my boundaries go in order to fold someone else’s boundaries or expectations. But not anymore.

I am a CEO now. I am growing and scaling my brand. I am not going to be a fit for everyone. And I know that.

As a recovering people pleaser and empath, setting boundaries doesn’t come naturally to me. But I’ve learned my worth! If someone can’t respect your boundaries, it’s okay to part ways.

 

Some Boundaries I have set:

Boundaries are rules on how you want to be treated.

1. 1. I am not available to everyone 24/7
      1. Set downtime for email, Voxer and time limits for messenger
      2. Muted group messages
      3. Stop working at night
      4. Responded during work hours
      5. Using email instead of text to separate work from friendships
      6. Does that mean people can’t text me at 11pm no? It means, my notifications are off. And I can check if I am available.
   2. I have specific boundaries around my time.
      1. Shoots on Monday and Thursday
      2. Coaching and Podcast on Tuesday
      3. Etc.
   3. I have the right to change my mind.
      1. A month or so ago I said I was taking a podcast break and now here I am.
      2. I retired from weddings but then last year I shot 4.
   4. I can say no.
   5. I do not participate in Group Texts during my workday. 

 

What boundary could help you in 2024?

• Boundaries with time
• Boundaries with your phone
• Boundaries with a family member or friend

How can you protect your time, mental health and business this year?

 

 

 

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